Standstill
by starscriptmage
Summary: She didn't even have to turn to know who it was. There was only one person possible, after all: only one person was that gentle with her. In her wonder, his footsteps and the sliding of the hospital room door had ricocheted off deaf ears. "Good evening, Koushi," she said, smiling. Sugawara/OC


"I believe those are the last of them," she remarked to herself. Her fingers hovered hesitantly over the ice-cold glass, her ballpoint pen lying, forgotten, beside her notebook. She observed in fascination as the birds - little grey arrows against the stark white sky - veered further and further away from view until all that remained was the softly descending snow on the silent streets outside.

Her right hand scrabbled slowly around the bed for her pen, but her gaze never left the window. Math was the last thing on her mind. All she could think of was the shadowed figures of the birds, their wings carrying them tirelessly towards the south, towards freedom.

The stuffy hospital air gradually trickled out from the widening crack as she pulled the window open. A bone-chilling breeze, as well as some stray fluffy flakes, buffeted her full in the face and she pulled the jacket tighter around her shoulders, the chatter of excitement outside making its way into the hospital room. She lowered herself slowly back onto the bed, her eyes still glued to the falling snow.

At long last her nails grazed the barrel of the pen and she reached further, hoping to grasp it fully, but another set of fingers met hers, lifting her palm with a soft delicacy.

She didn't even have to turn to know who it was. There was only one person possible, after all: only one person was that gentle with her. In her wonder, his footsteps and the sliding of the hospital room door had ricocheted off deaf ears.

"Good evening, Koushi," she said, smiling.

The setter, bundled up with layer upon layer of clothing, attempted to unravel the scarf off his neck. Snowflakes speckled his grey hair, several caught on his eyelashes and his gloves.s Cheeks rosy from cold and lips flushed red, he didn't seem to have a care in the world. He started at his name, blinking rapidly, then relaxed and smiled back at her.

"Good evening," he replied, the tips of his ears glowing pink. "I see you're nearly done your math worksheet. I brought today's homework, and dinner. My mom made it, it's your favourite bento box. She also wants to know if you can come to our house for Christmas, too."

"Thank you, and I will if I can."

He suddenly shivered, noticing the open window with a jolt of surprise.

"You're going to freeze," Koushi scolded, brow furrowing in concern. He immediately slid the window shut, raising an eyebrow at her slightly sullen expression. "I see you're quite excited about this weather."

"Anyone would be," she said matter-of-factly, her sulkiness fading. "I don't want you to stand the entire time, Koushi, so please take a seat."

She gestured beside her. Wordlessly, Koushi pulled the chair from the shadow of the corner towards her bed, and sat, setting down his schoolbag.

"When are you getting released from the hospital?" he asked, running his fingers through his unruly hair in a feeble attempt to keep it from sticking up. His determination did not pay off however, and giving up, he lowered his hands, still waiting for her response.

"You ask that every day," she teased, sticking her pen behind the shell of his still-pink ear.

"Do I?" He slipped it back onto hers, smiling earnestly.

He slipped a folder out of his bag, as well as his phone and a pencil case filled with highlighters and pens.

"Here are all the assignments and worksheets for today. I've recorded all the lectures on my phone, with permission from the teachers, and I copied all my notes as well, so you can understand the lectures better."

She pulled the pen off her ear and twirled it in her fingers, cheeks flushed with awed gratitude.

"You didn't have to do that," she protested weakly. "I mean, it's been about a week and a half, and you come back every day with recorded lectures, class assignments, and your notes. You shouldn't inconvenience yourself on my behalf, you know."

"Ah, well…" Koushi scratched his head sheepishly. "It's not inconvenient at all. And besides, you helped me study for my English exam last year, and I got full marks, so this is my way of thanking you, I guess. I mean, not that helping me with English was the only the thing you helped me with, but - that is to say, what I'm trying to - well - "

"You're stammering, Koushi," she noted with amusement.

"I - I am?" He laughed a little weakly. "Sorry."

She fell silent, deep in thought, and shot up in her bed, smiling broadly.

"I completely forgot! I asked Mom to bring your Christmas present here today, so I could give it to you."

"That's a funny coincidence." Koushi shifted in his seat, eyebrows rising. "I brought your present as well. Would you like to open it now?"

" _Can_ I open it now?" she asked slyly.

"Homework first," he reminded her, not unkindly.

A companionable silence settled as the two sat side by side, pens scratching against paper, heads bent over their work. The sound of their breathing grew deep and slow, like the steady accumulation of snow on the streets outside, matching the calm, serene beating of their hearts.

As her eyes ran over another question, she felt something soft and warm press around her neck. A quick glance up and down told her that Koushi was winding his scarf around her throat carefully, something unfathomable causing his eyebrows to draw together and his mouth to tighten.

"Koushi?"she said cautiously, trying not to startle him. He was so deep in concentration that he started at her voice. With a rapid blink of his eyes he coughed awkwardly.

"Yes?"

"What are you trying to do?"

Another cough.

"Um, you looked cold, so I assumed - guessed - I mean, thought - "

"That's sweet of you," she said, noting the subtle rush of scarlet to his cheeks, "but your scarf is completely covered in snow, so it's not really - "

"Oh! Sorry!" Now completely crimson from ears to collarbone, Koushi hurriedly unwrapped the scarf, biting the side of his mouth as he shoved it into his schoolbag.

Turning back to their notebooks, the two of them put their minds to work, neither really absorbing information or paying any attention to what they were trying to write. She slowly forced her train of thought back on track, and, with a click of her pen, proceeded to finish writing the draft of her essay.

After what seemed like several centuries, she set her pen down and looked up, only to see Koushi opening his mouth. Wondering if he was trying to tell her something, she asked hesitantly, "What is it?"

"Oh, uh, nothing," he said in a rather strangled voice. His complexion had faded back to its usual colour, but pink was beginning to make its way back to his cheeks. Clearing his throat, he added, "Are you done your assignments?"

"Yes. Are you having any problems with English?"

"No, not at all, thanks to your tutoring. Do you - um - want to open your present?"

She couldn't stifle the laugh bubbling up from inside of her this time, gasping for air as Koushi stared at her, puzzled.

"Is it - Was it something I said?"

She giggled at his confused expression, shaking her head.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to do that. It's just -

"You've been acting so awkward today. I know Christmas is coming in a few days, so maybe it's the stress of the holiday season - "

"No!" protested Koushi loudly, then jumped at his own voice. "No, that's not it," he continued in a softer voice. "I just - I find it - with you - "

"I told you not to force yourself to do this." The realization began to form in her head, and the pen tumbled out of her fingers and onto the floor. The clatter it made against the ground didn't even draw a reaction out of her - she felt the silence blanketing them turn sharp like shards of ice.

"You don't have to worry about offending me. If all of - all of - _this_ \- " she gestured vaguely - "is becoming like a chore, please don't hesitate to tell me. You've already done so much for me, there's no need to feel obligated to do more." Her voice began to rise a little higher, and she gritted her teeth, trying to calm her accelerating heart. "I know me being in the hospital is a bit of a burden, but you should have told me so if you didn't want to - if I - you - "

Taking a deep breath and calming herself, she closed her eyes and opened them.

"Thank you for being here for me, S-Sugawara-kun."

Her voice caught at the end and she faltered, keeping her eyes furiously trained on the white hospital blanket. Her hands gripped the hem of it tightly, and her throat and eyes burned as if she had inhaled a deep breath of smoke.

There was a sharp, painful intake of air and a shuddering swallow, and Koushi's hand clutched her arm.

"That's not it," he said in a voice that seemed nothing like his usually calm and mellow tone. "That's not it, I swear. You're not a burden. Don't think spending time with you is a chore for me. I really enjoy coming to visit you, so please don't - "

She heard a small noise exit her mouth and his grip loosened.

"Don't call me that." His voice had grown quiet, like a puff of breath in the winter: mushrooming into misty existence and fading away, as if nothing had been there in the first place. "Don't c-call me _S-Sugawara-kun_ like that ever a-again. Please. Promise me that."

"Okay." She didn't keep her voice from trembling this time. "I won't. I promise."

She slowly lifted her head, her pulse beginning to slow down. To her utter shock (and slight bemusement), Koushi had turned his chair around and was frantically wiping at his eyes.

"Koushi, are you - "

"No," he squeaked slightly.

Her shoulders relaxed, and she let out a soft laugh.

"Well, what's the thing you keep thinking about?" she asked. "I mean, you obviously have something on your mind, Koushi."

He blushed, and this time, he turned such a dark shade of red that worry twinged in your heart.

"About my mom wanting you to come over for Christmas - that was a lie. I'm sorry.

"There's a new cafe that I'd like to visit - I mean, visit with you. That is, if you want to. I mean, I don't mind if you don't, but I'd really like - like you to - would you - um - "

She found with surprise that his hand was tucked gently, carefully, softly in hers. And that the answer was already on her tongue.

"Koushi, I think you already know the answer.

 _I'd love to."_


End file.
